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Dear Diary,

Wow, I hadn’t been aware of how much I’d missed English girls here in India. I just met this really hot backpacker. She’s called Liz – and she couldn’t take her eyes off me. Liz was with this strange guy who made no effort to hide his dislike for me. He tried to make me look stupid all the time. It didn’t work, though. Who could possibly make me look stupid in front of girls? And this guy is just… totally pathetic, if you ask me. It’s so obvious that he’s in love with Liz that it’s almost embarrassing. Not that he’s got any chances anyway, all the more now that Liz knows me. He’s so jealous that I don’t know if I should be annoyed or just amused. He didn’t even want Liz to talk to me. She wanted to know lots of things about India and as they don't seem to have any idea of surviving in this country, I think I'll take the opportunity and accompany them for a while - not without ulterior motives, of course. I'm afraid I'll have to bear the guy's presence for the moment. But I’m sure that if I keep behaving like this, soon he’ll be so pissed that he’ll just leave the two of us alone. And then I’ll have her on my own…